I was recently reading an on-line article about why we give gifts to each other. It was written by a psychologist and explained the underlying emotional needs that are met in both the giver and the receiver. We have all heard that it is better to give than to receive. But the reasons why are less clearly understood.
In a nutshell, it is the giver, rather than the receiver, who reaps the biggest psychological reward from giving a gift to another.
The reason is that the act of giving reinforces the bond between the two parties, and tells us a lot about ourselves as the giver, increasing our feelings of being competent, mindful and loving.
That’s a mouthful. Translation: As the giver, when we give a thoughtful, personalized gift, we feel great about ourselves. It is the shear act of giving that makes us feel good and more lovable in the bargain.
Think about a time you gave a truly special gift to someone close to you. A gift that left them speechless with emotion. A gift that so perfectly captured your feelings for them that they still remember your thoughtfulness to this day. How did you feel?
OK, but what if you are “gift-challenged”? What constitutes a thoughtful gift that reinforces that bond? Here are a few thoughts to help you:
1. It’s not about the money - The amount you spend is not that important. Really. OK, maybe at the moment it is exciting to really splurge, but it is not the most important factor by a long shot. In fact it may even backfire if they are unable to reciprocate as generously. So save your money.
2. Effort – The amount of effort you put into your gift is by far the most important. Think about it. How would your wife feel if you surprised her with the gift of an evening without the kids and you making her a romantic dinner at home? Just the two of you. Effort? Yes, you organized everything and took it upon yourself to make everything perfect so she could just enjoy herself. .
3. Personalized - Nothing says “I care about you” like a gift that is personalized to the interests of the recipient. JUST SAY NO to knick-knacks, ties and anything with an electrical cord attached (I was warned to NEVER give my wife anything electrical…that’s an “appliance” not a gift). These are not personalized gifts. Personalization means you know enough about the person’s interests to come up with something unique, just for him or her. The more personalized, the more it shows you care. Sentimental photographs make really special gifts – after all it’s you and she in the photo, capturing a special moment during a romantic trip you took together. Or a cute picture of the kids for grandma. Personalized!
4. For no reason – Don’t wait for a birthday, or Christmas, or anniversary. Give them a gift just because you feel like it, for no special reason. What better way to experience the “joy of giving” than for no reason at all? Believe me they will appreciate the gesture. And the psychologists will back me up on that.
One gift idea that always hits the mark is a personalized photo, enlarged and printed on canvas, stretched on a frame and ready to hang. It sounds expensive but really isn’t at all. For less than the price of a fancy restaurant dinner and baby-sitter you can get a photo canvas made from your very own photo. It is even possible to have the photo converted into a simulated oil painting for a few dollars more.
This is the gift that they will talk about for years. And you will have the satisfaction of knowing you gave something very special and unique.
“Priceless”, as they say in the credit card advertisements.
If you enjoyed this post, please share with your friends and family, and visit www.PhotoArtPeople.com to see how easy it is to have your precious photo transformed into a canvas work of art. Prices start at only $79.
Article contributed by Bill Loeber, founder of www.PhotoArtPeople.com.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Usually, ladies express their admiration about things they like. Your lady may praise a set of cushions she sees in the living room of your friends or say she has seen a pair of earrings with gems that perfectly match the color of her eyes. She may also say she really likes perfume her colleague is using. So, the first tip is really simple - become an attentive listener and your woman will most probably drop hints about the gift she expects to get.